My.. My how 1 year flies by!

A letter to my baby girl!

You are 1 years old and 3 months! My my how 1 year flies by! I could not have imagined what an adventure it has been being your mama! You are sweet, funny, spunky and VERY smart! It amazes us how fast you catch on to things and we watch you in amazement! You are pure entertainment for us!

Your loves....dogs (which is a good thing, since we have 2!) They were not so thrilled with your arrival since they were the first ones in the house and VERY spoiled! They have grown to like you and actually get excited to see you!

Planes...we take you to a park where planes take off overhead and you get SO excited!

You LOVE your Grandmas and Grandpa (you are very partial to him and he could not adore you anymore then he does!

Walks....you love being outdoors!

Swing...oh the park is your favorite place right now! You could swing..swing all day long!

Books...you get so excited to flip through all your books and point to things and have us tell you what it is. I am hoping you will continue your love for books because it is the most sweetest and innocent thing ever!

Babies...your dollies are your pride and joy! It is the sweetest thing ever to watch! You feed your babies and push them around in the stroller!

Kisses...you LOVE to give kisses! You are kissing us constantly...it is the best thing after I have had a day at work...I pick you up and you give me a big huge kiss! It makes my day complete and sweet!

Now, I will say some things we are excited to have change....your SLEEPING or lack of it!! You wake up in the middle of the night EVERY single night and then you are up at the crack of dawn usually 5 am, but sometimes you like to throw a curve ball and rise and shine at 4am.

Your temper tantrums have begun and WOW they are pretty crazy! It has taught me how much patience motherhood really takes! I am not the most patient person, so this has been a learning experience for me and continues to be.

So, for right now you are IT...are one and only and it took 4 years for you to come into this world! I experienced 1 miscarriage that rocked my world. It was one of the saddest things I had been through and I never thought I would get over it, or forget. Well, us mommys don't forget, but it did get easier with time and the day I found out you were on the way it was pure joy and fear that it would happen all over again. I was paranoid and took every extra precaution to make sure you were gonna stick! You did and it was a healthy pregnancy. At the time I worked until the day I gave birth to you and slowly started going back to work only after 2 weeks. I owned a healthy pet food store, so I didn't have the luxuries of having maternity leave. Luckily, I was still able to be around as much as possible and you had Grandma who took really good care of you!

So, someday soon we will add a little sister or brother for you...hopefully when you are 3 years old.

I love you baby girl! I waited for you for so long and am blessed to have you in our lives!

We love you sweet Ava Grace!

Ava is 4 1/2 months old!!

Ava is the sweetest thing ever! I now know why people have more then 1 child! She is such a social little baby. She loves attention and enjoys having her little conversations with you. She does love to be held and gets a bit tough & stubborn in the evenings.

Sans and I are actually talking about having another one! He wants one right away, but I have reminded him that I am the one doing most of the work here!! So, he can wait when I am good and ready! The one thing that I am experiencing is the balancing act of being a working mom. Our schedule is nuts right now and really need it to slow down a few paces, so I have more time to enjoy her and BE a mom. It is my mission and goal to have that balance....I have to for my sanity. It is so much fun to watch her grow and accomplish new milestones. I am looking forward to the food part. I am a bit bored of bottles, so can't wait to dive into some fun foods and see her experience all the different tastes. Here is Ava at 4 1/2 months...sweet thing!

Absolutely In Love....

Ava is almost 3 months old now and we are truly in love with this little person! I have loved her from Day 1 because I am her mom. It has taken these 3 months to truly bond with this little being! At times, I felt overwhelmed from being a new mom and needed breaks from this new little person in my life, but now it just feels different. I remember a girlfriend telling me how much she loved her baby..she said I love her SO much it hurts!! I now know what she means by that!

I can't stand being away from her! I do feel so blessed though that she has 2 Grandmas that take care of her when I have to be at the store. They just love fussing over her. I remember how loved I felt by my Grandmas, so she is one lucky girl!

I had a scary incident this morning while driving to work. A 3 car crash right next to me on the freeway. I saw glass flying and the big BOOM BOOM BOOM in the next lane....right next to my baby girl. I have seen accidents, but this was just different. I felt so responsible and SO scared that anything can happen at any moment. I had to take some deep breaths and just started sobbing. It is just so scary all these little things that can happen and how responsible you feel for protecting this little precious being.

On a lighter note...Ava is a great little baby that has wonderful sleep habits!! Sans doesn't understand how lucky we really have it! She is only waking up early in the morning and most of the time will go back to sleep. It is great! I do have to admit the girl LOVES TV!!! Luckily Disney has some good programs and it is a great excuse to watch happy little programs that sing happy songs instead of watching depressing news in the morning!! It is my favorite time with her while she sits on my lap...I sip some coffee and we enjoy a cute little show and I sing to her!! I just have to savor these little moments because they will go by so fast! She will all of a sudden be all grown up, but for now she is my sweet baby girl!

Ava's 1st Christmas....2 months old!

Well, I have to say this new phase we have entered is WAY better then the brand new newborn phase (I am not a fan of!) She smiles, coos and I now know what her cries mean! That makes life a lot easier! Sans and I are really enjoying her. I don't want to jinx it but she has been only waking up once at 4 or 5 am. FABULOUS!! Let me just say mama getting some sleep is VERY important for my coping skills! We just hope it continues!

Our 1st Christmas was so nice. We spent Christmas Eve with Sans's family. We had a lot of laughs and they just all fussed over Ava! Her cousins, Brock & Liam just LOVE her to pieces. It was absolutely adorable 6 year old Brock was just staring at her and looks at me and says, "Ava just looks so cute in her dress!" So sweet! We spent Christmas day with my family. My cousin stopped by and they got to meet Ava for the first time. Missing was my sister, brother in law and kids, but we got to ichat so that made it sweeter.

So let's just say life is getting much easier with baby! We are planning on moving down to San Diego sometime soon. It will be so much easier having no commute and being close to my parents.

I am thinking 2010 will be another happy year! HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

6 weeks!

Well, I don't have any photos...she pretty much looks the same just a tad bigger! We are thinking she resembles her daddy with a few of my features! I FINALLY got a smile today for making funny faces and sounds! Hopefully it wasn't just gas! It warmed my heart and really what I needed! This newborn stuff is tough! I will be honest I have had my moments of having a hard time adjusting to this mom stuff. I get overwhelmed at having to run a business and take care of this new little person. I am the type who can't stand to have tons going on in my life all at the same time. I like my life to be as less stressful as possible. I just can't cope well if it is the other way and let me tell you it has been a little much lately! I just have to cry at times to feel relief from feeling overwhelmed. It helps and then I am able to keep on going. Luckily, every mom I have talked to says that these first 3 months are the roughest and then all of a sudden the light turns on and it just gets easier. I am banking on that!!! It is tough to have these feelings because we wanted this for so long, so I feel like I should just be in a little love story right now with my newborn. I am sure I will be writing a post soon that will proclaim that we have turned the corner and it is easier...for now I am hanging on for this crazy ride!

3 weeks of Parenthood! `

What a whirlwind these past 3 weeks have been. It feels like we have had Ava a lot longer. She is starting to seem so much bigger to us now. She now is staying awake a lot longer now and listening to our voices and looking at us. Just the past couple of days she has started to change a little bit.

We have been dealing with her little constipation issues which gets really frustrating for all of us! I never thought I would be so consumed with her pooping!! It is a big victory when her diaper is filled!

We are all adjusting to our new life. Quite honestly it is a huge adjustment! You have your typical everyday schedule before baby and then WHAM a whole new schedule! I now believe what new parents say... the first 3 months are tough. They are but I know well worth it! We love her to pieces!

AVA GRACE IS HERE!!!

Well, it has been awhile since my last post....due to Ava coming 9 days early...YIPPEEE!!! I guess details are in order. My water broke at midnight on Tuesday Oct 20th. I was getting up as usual to go pee for the millionth time and gush...water broke! It took us almost 2 hours to get out the door. I had to take a shower, do my make up and hair and Sans had to spin in circles not knowing which way was up!

My contractions were progressing closer together by the time we got the hospital. I asked for the epidural pretty much right away! I was dilated to 3 and contractions were getting quite strong! I wasn't about to mess around, so epidural went in and AHHH what a relief! I was dilating at a great pace and we figured she would be born sometime in the afternoon. By the time I got to 10 cm I figured this pushing thing shouldn't be too bad.....BOY WAS I WRONG!!! I pushed for 3 1/2 hours. She was a bit sideways and apparently my pelvis is a tad narrow. Nice to know that after the fact!! Not to give gory details, but the Dr. tried manual manipulation where he actually tries to move the baby...OUCH...SON OF A GUN!! That didn't work. He then tried vacumming her out 3 times. He only will do it 3 times and then I would be off to have a C-Section. He said that she moved so much farther down and that he was going to give it a 4th and final try and that he is confident it will work. With the help of the vacuum and my mighty pushing abilities she was born at 3:31 pm Oct 21st.

What an amazing thing! I was in awe at the first sight of her. Daddy was also in amazement and was teary eyed at the first time holding his baby girl.

So, we have been home now for 1 week and 2 days. Grandma (my mom) stayed with us for the 1st week. That was awesome and I couldn't ask for a better mother (yes she reads my blogs). No seriously there is nothing better then having your mom with you sharing in this experience. It is quite scary and exciting all at the same time. Trying to figure out this new little human being that has joined your household is overwhelming at times. I found myself crying every evening for the 1st week due to crazy crashing hormones!

So, now it is just me, Dadddy, Ava and the dogs....we are adjusting to our new schedule and realizing quickly that trying to get out the door to go somewhere in a timely fashion is quite a production!! We love our baby girl to pieces and what everyone says about having a baby.....it is a miracle!