Ava's 1st Christmas....2 months old!

Well, I have to say this new phase we have entered is WAY better then the brand new newborn phase (I am not a fan of!) She smiles, coos and I now know what her cries mean! That makes life a lot easier! Sans and I are really enjoying her. I don't want to jinx it but she has been only waking up once at 4 or 5 am. FABULOUS!! Let me just say mama getting some sleep is VERY important for my coping skills! We just hope it continues!

Our 1st Christmas was so nice. We spent Christmas Eve with Sans's family. We had a lot of laughs and they just all fussed over Ava! Her cousins, Brock & Liam just LOVE her to pieces. It was absolutely adorable 6 year old Brock was just staring at her and looks at me and says, "Ava just looks so cute in her dress!" So sweet! We spent Christmas day with my family. My cousin stopped by and they got to meet Ava for the first time. Missing was my sister, brother in law and kids, but we got to ichat so that made it sweeter.

So let's just say life is getting much easier with baby! We are planning on moving down to San Diego sometime soon. It will be so much easier having no commute and being close to my parents.

I am thinking 2010 will be another happy year! HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

6 weeks!

Well, I don't have any photos...she pretty much looks the same just a tad bigger! We are thinking she resembles her daddy with a few of my features! I FINALLY got a smile today for making funny faces and sounds! Hopefully it wasn't just gas! It warmed my heart and really what I needed! This newborn stuff is tough! I will be honest I have had my moments of having a hard time adjusting to this mom stuff. I get overwhelmed at having to run a business and take care of this new little person. I am the type who can't stand to have tons going on in my life all at the same time. I like my life to be as less stressful as possible. I just can't cope well if it is the other way and let me tell you it has been a little much lately! I just have to cry at times to feel relief from feeling overwhelmed. It helps and then I am able to keep on going. Luckily, every mom I have talked to says that these first 3 months are the roughest and then all of a sudden the light turns on and it just gets easier. I am banking on that!!! It is tough to have these feelings because we wanted this for so long, so I feel like I should just be in a little love story right now with my newborn. I am sure I will be writing a post soon that will proclaim that we have turned the corner and it is easier...for now I am hanging on for this crazy ride!

3 weeks of Parenthood! `

What a whirlwind these past 3 weeks have been. It feels like we have had Ava a lot longer. She is starting to seem so much bigger to us now. She now is staying awake a lot longer now and listening to our voices and looking at us. Just the past couple of days she has started to change a little bit.

We have been dealing with her little constipation issues which gets really frustrating for all of us! I never thought I would be so consumed with her pooping!! It is a big victory when her diaper is filled!

We are all adjusting to our new life. Quite honestly it is a huge adjustment! You have your typical everyday schedule before baby and then WHAM a whole new schedule! I now believe what new parents say... the first 3 months are tough. They are but I know well worth it! We love her to pieces!

AVA GRACE IS HERE!!!

Well, it has been awhile since my last post....due to Ava coming 9 days early...YIPPEEE!!! I guess details are in order. My water broke at midnight on Tuesday Oct 20th. I was getting up as usual to go pee for the millionth time and gush...water broke! It took us almost 2 hours to get out the door. I had to take a shower, do my make up and hair and Sans had to spin in circles not knowing which way was up!

My contractions were progressing closer together by the time we got the hospital. I asked for the epidural pretty much right away! I was dilated to 3 and contractions were getting quite strong! I wasn't about to mess around, so epidural went in and AHHH what a relief! I was dilating at a great pace and we figured she would be born sometime in the afternoon. By the time I got to 10 cm I figured this pushing thing shouldn't be too bad.....BOY WAS I WRONG!!! I pushed for 3 1/2 hours. She was a bit sideways and apparently my pelvis is a tad narrow. Nice to know that after the fact!! Not to give gory details, but the Dr. tried manual manipulation where he actually tries to move the baby...OUCH...SON OF A GUN!! That didn't work. He then tried vacumming her out 3 times. He only will do it 3 times and then I would be off to have a C-Section. He said that she moved so much farther down and that he was going to give it a 4th and final try and that he is confident it will work. With the help of the vacuum and my mighty pushing abilities she was born at 3:31 pm Oct 21st.

What an amazing thing! I was in awe at the first sight of her. Daddy was also in amazement and was teary eyed at the first time holding his baby girl.

So, we have been home now for 1 week and 2 days. Grandma (my mom) stayed with us for the 1st week. That was awesome and I couldn't ask for a better mother (yes she reads my blogs). No seriously there is nothing better then having your mom with you sharing in this experience. It is quite scary and exciting all at the same time. Trying to figure out this new little human being that has joined your household is overwhelming at times. I found myself crying every evening for the 1st week due to crazy crashing hormones!

So, now it is just me, Dadddy, Ava and the dogs....we are adjusting to our new schedule and realizing quickly that trying to get out the door to go somewhere in a timely fashion is quite a production!! We love our baby girl to pieces and what everyone says about having a baby.....it is a miracle!

38 weeks...2 more to go

Well, I am hoping she will come any day now and I don't actually have 2 weeks left! At least I am headed to the finish line and can't wait to meet our baby girl. It is just strange to think that in a matter of days we can be holding our girl. I got out of bed last night to pee for the 100th time and looked at Sans and said, Isn't it weird to think we are going to have a baby soon? His reply, VERY strange. I guess it is just surreal, since we have waited so darn long!

Poor Sans, he would really like his wife back and trust me I would like to be back! He woke me up in the middle of the night to say, " Sam, wake up you are snoring SO loud!! He said I feel bad for waking you up, but I can't sleep! My reply, "How can I be snoring...I am not even asleep!" Oops I guess I did fall asleep for a few minutes! Must be attractive to hear your wife sawing logs! I am glad it has only just started and hasn't lasted my whole pregnancy. Hopefully, it will be ending soon when I can breath again!

I had a Dr.s appt yesterday...no progress has been made as of last week. Still almost 2 cm dilated & 80% effaced.

Drs Visit today...making progress!

We had a Drs visit today. I was hoping for some progress and we got it! I have dilated to 1 1/2 almost 2 centimeters. I am still 80% effaced and the baby is in the same position in the pelvis. I thought for sure she scooted down farther, but nope! Now I do know that it could be weeks until I actually go into labor, but hey I am being hopeful that I will continue to dilate.

Sans and I are running around trying to get all this last minute stuff done and it feels like we are getting NOTHING accomplished! I should really get off this computer and go pack my bags for the hospital....just to be on the safe side!

EMOTIONAL!!

So, I know so many posts lately.... emotions are running at full throttle, so writing helps me sort them all out! Well, and that fact that my mom and Sans are helping me get through it all. Bless their patient hearts!

We are weeks away from meeting our little girl and I never thought I would be a mess about it. I know these emotions are completely normal, but I wish I could feel normal for just a second.

I guess "normal" just isn't in the cards right now because everything is about to change...of course for the amazingly better. I take after my Grandma Evie in this department of starting to panic about every little thing....bless her heart!

So here are all of the things I am nervous about and hopefully these feelings will all go away once the are written down...

I am nervous....

To give birth

That she is healthy

Making the right decisions for her health and safety

I will be so sleep deprived that I can't cope or function!

I will be able to enjoy the time with her while I am away from my business

My life will be a juggling act with work and baby

AHHHH.....I feel better now! Thanks for listening to my worries! Now I need to put them to rest and enjoy each moment as it is given to me. We have waited SO long for this moment and embracing and remembering the time when we wanted this all so badly helps me put it all in perspective. Now if the hormones could just be laid to rest!

4 more weeks to go!!!

Here is a belly pic! We have 4 more weeks to go. It is October 1st and I can officially say when people ask, When you are due?" THIS MONTH!!! Now, that is if she comes on time or early. We are hoping for early! How's mama? Well, Ava's head is down low and she likes to bang it around on my pelvis...yeah I know OUCH!! That is what I say each time she does that! I am just uncomfortable and will be counting down the days. Now, I have wishful thinking and keep saying...she is going to come early! Who knows, but hopefully on Wednesday I will have made some more progress and hopefully (fingers crossed) will have dilated. I seriously have to think about what I need to pack in my bag for the hospital...get last minute stuff for that and install the car seat! Then we will be officially waiting for her arrival! We did play hooky on our last birthing class. We were over it! I never did like school! Oh and the woman teaching it is VERY pro breast feeding and I did not feel like sitting through all that!

Ava's room

Okay first let me say that the last post is not as neat as I was trying to get it. I tried messing with it to fix it, but had no luck. So, I am over it!!

I had a Dr.s appt today. I am 80% efaced and her head is getting pretty far down. Now I know why I have been waddling and why it hurts to bend down because she is DOWN there!!! Ouch! I haven't dilated at all. Hopefully, next visit I will have started that. I go once a week now, so we are in the home stretch!! Here are pictures of her room. It is finished.....YIPPEE!!!

Baby Shower & 5 more weeks!

My sister & niece came into town for the baby shower. It was so nice to spend such good quality time with them. The shower was at my Aunts house (pictured left). The girls did a FABULOUS job at planning the shower. I could not have asked for a better time with friends and family! The day after the shower my mom, sis and niece came over to get the room set up with all the things I got from the shower and we went to Babies R Us to get more necessities. This house is finally starting to take shape of a baby about to enter into this household. It is getting exciting and I am getting VERY nervous to actually give birth! Last night at childbirth class when it got to the part of "labor positions" I had to get up announce to the class that I did not feel like doing this, have fun and we'll see everyone next week! Sans quickly followed me out and then let me know how rude I was! I looked at him and then lost it! These crazy ass hormones are getting the best of me.I had to have a good cry and then I was over it!

6 more weeks. on Friday..am I counting right???

I am getting SO excited for the baby shower this weekend. It will be so much fun getting together with so many friends and family. My sister and niece are flying in from Texas and I can't wait to see them! There is nothing like some good quality girl time!

Well, this baby girl is moving down. I am officially a waddler! She still manages to kick my ribs, but I guess she is positioning herself to get the heck out of there and I can't wait!!

Oh and we started our childbirth class. That was absolutely hilarious. Our instructor was seriously from the 70s. Okay picture this....long stringy hair, crocs, and a sweatshirt tied around her waist...oh and the librarian glasses! She has a funny voice and is very animated. I just kept laughing the whole class because it felt like I was in a Saturday Night Live skit! Atleast she is entertaining! I had Sans whispering in my ear while we were supposed to be doing breathing exercises.....JUST GIVE ME THE DRUGS!! I am not quite sure what kind of coach he is going to be. Luckily, I will have my mom & Aunts there! He said he is going to be an amazing coach....we'll see! I could see him looking like a deer in headlights and going around asking the nurses a million questions! I better take some gifts with me to the hospital because they are going to get really annoyed with him and all his questions! I gotta butter them up somehow, so I get taken care of!

Oh I got her bedding this week as well. I am not in love with it, but it turned out nice. The one fabric I picked out is a different shade then I thought. That is what I get for picking fabric swatches on the Internet! I will post pics soon, but I am lagging on her room. The goal is by next week her room will be completed. Wish me luck!!

8 months! 32 weeks.....8 more weeks to go!!!

Here she is....Holy cow!!! I feel like I am growing by the minute! We are both getting quite crowded. She loves to kick me in the ribs and keep me up at all hours of the night! I feel for her as much as I do myself! I always think do babies feel really crammed in there? I am hoping she would like to make her arrival 2 weeks early!

Oh exciting news I am getting her bedding delivered this Thursday! Can't wait to set it all up and finish her room. I just gotta get Sans to patch about 20 holes he created in the wall because he just couldn't find a darn stud to hang a shelf! Gee my husband is so handy to have around the house! I will post pics as soon as I am done with her room.

Drs Visit today

It was a busy appt day today. We first met with a pediatrician that was recommended. We like her and she is more into the holistic route which is up our alley. So, we picked her as Ava's Dr. Then we were off to my Dr.s appt.  Dr. Dunn walked in with his goofy glasses and his typical funny saying....Ding Dong it's Dr. Dunn. It cracks us up everytime for some reason. He asked...."so how are you feeling?" I told him "I am all done...take the baby out!" He started laughing and saying that it wasn't the first time he has heard that. He said bad news it is only going to get worse in the weeks to come. Thanks Doc! So, you can't help me? 

The good news is that it looks like she has turned and is out of the breech position. She is head down...where she is supposed to be! I have now graduated to Drs visits to every 2 weeks for 1 month then in October I will be going in once a week until Miss Ava makes her grand entrance to the world! Can't wait! 

31 weeks.....9 more to go!

Okay seriously I feel as though the skin on my stomach can not stretch anymore. I know it will because I have 2 more months, but I feel as though it is completely stretched out! Strange feeling! 

Ava's kicks are getting so much stronger (ouch at times) and I can see body parts moving around in there. I don't know what body parts they are, but I assume arms or legs! 

Can I just mention the heat for 2 seconds....it is flipping HOT!! Note to self: next time try and not go through a pregnancy in the summer! That is just pure craziness! 

A fellow pregnant friend warned me of the hobbit size feet that will occur....they are occuring! Thanks Holly for the warning! 

We have a Drs. appt this Tuesday. We will probably start going every 2 weeks now and we start our Childbirth classes on Sept 9th. That should be a hoot!! I am sure Sans will continue to ask me a million questions, but hopefully it helps the guy out!!  

We are getting so excited to meet our baby girl and can't wait to see what she looks like! 

29 Weeks!

Is this over yet? WHAT? You say No?? WAAAAHHHH!!! That is how I feel right now! I am so sick of feeling sick, uncomfortable, getting kicked in the ribs, heartburn, grumpy and tired! I really don't get women who say "Oh I felt wonderful when I was pregnant" (MOTHER)!! 

My father did let me know yesterday..."Just wait until the end of September comes you will be really sick of all this." Thanks Dad! I will be the first one to call you and let you know how I am feeling the end of September! Don't expect it to be a pleasant phone call! 

Now let me say I am really excited to meet our baby girl. I love her to pieces already. I just don't like being pregnant!! I wanted this very badly though, so I am grinning and bearing it (not really, that is why I use this blog to bitch!) 

On a lighter side, Sans and I have been getting her room ready. Her rocker is put together, things are being hung on the wall. It is fun to do it together. Hopefully, we'll have some pictures to post pretty soon! 

Okay thanks for letting me bitch...I feel so much better getting all that off my chest! Now, if I can just get rid of this damn heartburn! 

7 months!!!

Here it is...the belly at 7 months! She and I are getting bigger! 

7 months!!!

Well there she is...Miss Ava Grace at 28 weeks! It was so cool to see her and she has some chunky cheeks!! Sans is looking forward to squeezing those puppies! So, the black part on top of her head is not hair and she does NOT have a widows peak! 4D ultrasound just creates some weird shadows with them moving around in there! That is the umbilical cord going over her shoulder to the placenta. 

She was super active...she yawned, swallowed fluid, kicked, thrusted her head back. She was busy in there! She weighs 2lbs 12 oz so far! She is in the breech position, but has some time to move into the right position. Hopefully, that will occur! 

Oh and an update on Braxton Hicks contractions that I was having....luckily they stopped. I have been staying off my feet a little more which I think helped. 

Yesterday was my B-day, so Sans took me to a spa day and we both got facials and laid by the pool at the Sheraton in Carlsbad. We also had lunch poolside! It was a fabulous day! I love being married to a guy who likes to do the girly things! He really is a trooper with all my crazy hormones and takes great care of me! I am lucky! 

Yes, I know I need to post a new belly picture. I'll get right on that...stay tuned! 

Dr.s Appt Today

I know...I know 2 posts in 1 week!! That is a record! I had a Drs appt today, so that is why I am updating. I have had a bit of concern the last several weeks due to Braxton Hicks contractions getting stronger and stronger. I have been keeping track and they really aren't often enough to be alarming, but when they happen they are painful! I have noticed any kind of mild activity brings them on. So, while I am at work, taking the dogs for their evening stroll...etc... I know these are very common, but I guess I just want to be aware of what is going on in there in case I need to be taking it easier so she stays in there until term. She has quite a few more weeks to go...13 to be exact! The Dr. was concerned that I was having so much pain with Braxton Hicks, so she ran tests to make sure I wasn't having pre-term labor (which I highly doubt). The test she did tests for pre term labor for the next 2 weeks. Pretty crazy technology these days. I just don't ever want to have to go on best rest, so realizing that I just need to take it easier is obviously important right now. 

I also got my glucose test done....that is where you drink that sugary drink, wait an hour and they test your blood glucose. It was a busy day at the Drs! I then rushed home to wait 4 hours for my rocker chair I ordered for her room! Of course they came at the very end of the 4 hour wait! 

It is just so strange as the time creeps slowly for her arrival. Everything in our life is just all about her right now and she isn't even here! Things just fall into perspective of how important it is to take time for yourself and RELAX! 

So, I will keep you all posted of the test results, but so far so good today. Although,  I have literally been on the couch ALL DAY, so feeling no pain or contractions at all. 

Almost there...3rd trimester!!!

Oh, I just keep thinking we are almost in August. I just have to get through August, September and then bam we are in October and hopefully she won't decide to wait and come into this world in November!! My neighbor told me about a horrible story of her friend's baby who didn't come until 3 weeks past her due date. That is pure torture! 

Well, I had a very busy night. Supposedly, I was talking in my sleep about how I am so glad Ava only has 3 letters in her name! Sans woke up to hear this and was cracking up. I think he is lying! Then at 3 AM I was STARVING!!! Sans's brilliant idea-  have a few almonds to tie me over until the morning! HA! HELLO I am pregnant....Starving is starving! I needed to eat breakfast! So, got up ate breakfast and decided I needed to shop online for her room! I am looking for pictures for the walls. Found some really cute ones at a very reasonable price on etsy.com.  Still debating how many I need, so they are on hold in checkout!! I bought the cutest little bookcase thing to hang on the wall. I was trying to post a picture, but it didn't work out. It will all be coming together very soon!  My goal is to get her room completed by early September. I can't wait to take pictures of the completion to post! 

So, to finish my story I went back to bed at 5am and then had one of those crazy pregnancy dreams about her. We actually got to meet her! She could come out for a little bit. She was dressed all cute and was smiling and laughing at Sans because he was making those goofy baby faces! She had light brown hair. I kept saying she looks ready to come out and the lady who was with us said no she has to go back in! I was actually pregnant with twins and there was a little boy in there too, but he wasn't ready to come out! STRANGE dream!! 

I should be exhausted after a night like that!! I told you it was very busy! 

Crib bedding has been purchased!!

Okay, so I have been obsessing for months about her darn crib bedding. I know it sounds ridiculous, but I was so disappointed with what is out there. Everything was so babyish. I just want her room to be pretty! I found a lady on www.etsy.com (a great website for handmade things) who is making it for me. I picked the fabrics (pictured above) on her website and she is making the bumper, skirt and a blanket. I will probably be getting it the beginning of September. 

So, I feel relieved that I made some decisions and can now get shopping on the rest of the decor for her room. 

Little Ava is so active and has pushed herself up against my ribs a lot of the time. Not too comfy! I can now see my stomach move when she kicks. That is very cool. I love just sitting on the couch with my bare belly and see her moving around in there. Sans especially enjoys that and talks to her all the time. It is sweet to see how excited he is. 

I have also come to realize that I need to take it a tad easier and spend a little less time on my feet, so I have cut my hours at work. That is hard to do, but it is giving me time to stop, take time for myself right now and enjoy this time....it will be crazy soon enough!! I have been starting to work on all the projects that need to get done with the house that we have put off. Amazing how much you can get done if you stay in one room and just tackle it!  

6 months!

  

 Well, here is the baby bump! It has grown quite a bit and I think it looks a lot bigger in person! Oh how am I feeling you ask? Here is where the whining comes in...excuse me for a second! My nausea has come back and I am getting very uncomfy. Trying to find a position to sleep is quite an ordeal every night! I huff and puff until I just give up and fall asleep...but not for long cause I gotta go pee!! It is a trip to have your body totally taken over. There are days where I say....I just want a break from my body....then I remind myself I don't have a choice in that matter!!! Hey, it is a blessing and I should not even complain for a minute, but I am human and honestly being pregnant takes on a life of it's own (literally)! Oh one more thing....I cry about everything and I am very snappy!  I told Sans I ordered the last piece of furniture...the glider. Of course he asked how much it was. His response, "WHAT,  why the heck do we need a glider? My mom just sat on the floor with a pillow and rocked us."  

Okay,  so can you imagine my response?  Now times it by 10 because my hormones are crazy! Yeah, it wasn't too happy in our household for a short period of time. He quickly realized what a dumb thing he said and apologized all over the place!  One thing I have realized, when you are pregnant your husband says a lot of dumb things!! Poor guy can't say anything right these days. If we both survive my hormones it will be a big relief! So, really that is the update at 6 months...I am no fun to be around, craving a glass of wine to take the edge off and ready to just sit in a pool the rest of the summer! Oh yeah, but I have a business to run and bills to pay....ah reality!!! 

Okay maybe I am being slightly dramatic...I do have my nice moments...it is just hard to catch them!! 

23 Weeks and the emotions are CRAZY!!

I have entered the stage of uncontrollable emotions! I cry at the smallest things and can just bawl my eyes out until I am exhausted! Again, hormones are fabulous! I will say that we have a lot of big decisions to make before this baby is born, so I think that has stirred things up a bit as far as my emotions go. It seems as though everyday I would just like to step out of my body to get a break for a moment! A glass of wine would really help, but can't do that! Sans is quite the trooper! He woke up at 5am to hear me bawling my eyes out and stayed up with me until I was all better! He just hugs me and says, you know this is completely normal to feel so emotional. Your hormones are on double time. He reads things out of books and then recites them to me as though he just knows this stuff! Very sweet and comforting. 

We did have our regular Drs appt on Tuesday. Everything went fine and nothing too exciting there! Baby is developing as she should be! I really need to take a picture of myself because boy oh boy my belly has gotten big! I will do that next week when I hit that 6 month mark! 

 

Week 22

We are back from Hawaii. It was a relaxing trip, but to be completely honest it was a bit boring! We are the kind of people who like to be entertained! That is why we LOVE cruises! We did a lot of poolside and I didn't even step foot on the sand...that's sad! We are glad we did the trip and were able to get away for a bit. 

This baby gave me a fit on quite a few occasions where I just had to chill out and try to find the most comfortable position possible to sit or lay! I have grown quite a bit in the last couple of weeks and the baby is kicking a lot harder and more often. Her active times are in the late afternoon through the evening.  

Oh the other lovely thing I have developed is what's called pregnancy mask! LOVELY! 

So, I have brown patches on my forehead, cheek and especially nice is a brown line above my lip, which makes it look like I have a mustache. That one really pisses me off!! I am so careful about putting sunscreen on, but apparently hormones have invaded my body and created these lovely brown patches. Mama is gonna need a makeover when this baby is born, until now cover up and foundation will be my friend! It is crazy what your body does...can't wait for the feet to get bigger! I'll have big feet and a mustache...CUTE! Be still every man's heart! Hey, at least my husband thinks I am the greatest thing on Earth right now! He looked at me the other day when I was huffing and puffing to put my shoes on and said...Thank you for carrying our child!!! It stopped me in my tracks and made all these crazy ailments worth while! I, of course had to end with sarcasm and say, hey, you can't do it, so it was up to me!! 

One other thing we have settled on is her name. We are going with Ava Grace (we think!) It is pretty and simple and gets the most compliments. Hey amazing what a vacation can do....we settled on our baby girls name! 

Off to Maui....

Well, we are almost off to Maui. 2 more days and can hardly wait! It is the last trip before baby...some relaxation and bonding time for these soon to be parents!! The dogs are all set for their stay at doggie camp and will probably have as much fun as we will! I am lucky to have found a good family friend that takes dogs into her home. They love it there and I can have peace of mind as I leave them! Yep, I was a dog mom first and will always worry about my fur kids!! 

Just getting all the last things set with the store.  Luckily my mom is here and I have great people who work at the store. It is so nice to have a great staff of people that take care of things when you are gone. 

So, we'll be off to get these white legs some color and looks like my drink by the poolside will be iced tea instead of strawberry daiquiris! I'll have one for ya and I'll have pictures when I get back! 

20 weeks...Half way there!

Just thought I would post an updated belly pic, since it has been awhile! Here we are at 20 weeks...5 months pregnant. Feeling good..just out of breath and realizing stairs and tying my shoes are getting quite difficult! Too bad I have a lot of stairs in my house! I find myself at times forgetting something (okay I forget a lot now a days!) and end up saying, Oh well I am not going back up those stairs again!! 

We got her mattress for her crib this week and tested out all the latest strollers at USA Baby. Sans had me in stitches as he was trying out the jogging strollers and decided to jog around the store as goofy as possible. The only big feature we are looking for in a stroller is a basket big enough for our Yogi! He gets quite lazy on walks and carrying him and pushing a stroller would be quite a Hollywood production! That's it for the week! 

A letter to my little girl.....

So, this blog has not only been to keep you all updated on the latest of Baby S, but also so she can look back and read all of these. Yes, I will need to start printing and saving in a book! 

I am up at the crack of dawn...can't sleep because I have too much on my mind. There are many different decisions to make right now and not sure what I am doing exactly! I tried just lying in bed and instead of doing what my Grandma Evie would do...WORRY (bad trait I got from her), I tried telling myself....everything will work out just fine. I also had my mother in my ear with her famous advice on worrying....What does it solve to sit there and worry? What is the worst that can happen? Yes, mom you are right, but I still can't sleep, so I will get up and write a letter to my baby girl because that is something that takes my mind off everything else...thinking about her! 

I am writing this letter to share with you how incredibly excited we are to meet you. Your dad tells me on a daily basis..."I am so excited to be a dad!" "I can't wait to meet her and hold her" 

I personally can not wait until the day that I get to hold you. I have been waiting for this day for so long and everyday I look down and look at my belly, feel you kick and move around and say "This really is happening!"  When we got an ultrasound the other day to make sure you were healthy and growing we walked out of the room so happy. Your dad had a smile from ear to ear and then we looked up and in the waiting room as we were exiting we saw the couple who went in before us completely sad with their heads down and looked like they had been crying. The nurse came over and said "The Dr. will need to speak to you"  Our hearts sank for them because something is wrong with their baby. We looked at each other and said "We are so blessed." 

 You will probably hear all your life how much you were wanted and how long we waited for you! So, if your dad kisses your cheeks way too much (he loves to do that!) and I worry about you that is why! We have waited for this day for a very long time. 

Love you bunches! 

Mom (wow that is the first time I wrote that!) 

Ultrasound today!

We went in for our ultrasound today. It was the second screen to test for Downs or any other chromosomal defect. She is healthy and she has big feet! Sans says, well that means she will be tall...short people don't have big feet! 

In case you can't decipher what this picture is (since her own Grandmother couldn't-just teasing mom!) it is her profile. She is kicking like a mad woman in there! I feel her all day long! I have now hit the stage of I have to eat every hour! I AM STARVING! Sans is enjoying it, but unfortunately he is packing on the weight more quickly then me! 

 So, now we are just trying to pick out the gear for this little person that will be entering our life soon. I never thought in my life that picking out car seats and strollers would be so complex! We laugh at the people who have these fancy $600.00 strollers and say RIDICULOUS! Then as we are searching, we are realizing those strollers have a purpose! Don't worry we really aren't going to spend that much, but it is tempting! 

The only real pregnancy complaint I have about this 2nd trimester is my aching back! I get my monthly massages and visit the chiropractor every month as well to help keep me somewhat pain free. It definitely helps! I am sure in the 3rd trimester I will complain about all sorts of things since EVERY woman likes to tell me, Oh enjoy your 2nd trimester because the 3rd trimester is HORRIBLE! Great...thanks for the advice! Gotta love helpful people! 

17 Weeks!

Let me just start off by saying this post is dedicated to my mother! She gets on my case when I don't post in my blog. I talk to her everyday and she knows everything, but she likes to read it, I guess!! Here ya go mama! 

We are very excited because on Tuesday we get the baby furniture delivered. I found a crib I really liked and when we went shopping, one of the stores had the floor model for sale....YIPPEEE! I got a great deal! I am going with off white furniture. 

So, I have to get that room in shape before it gets delivered. Yikes....lots of laundry to fold and closets to organize! 

 I am still on the hunt for baby bedding. Can I just tell you they make the ugliest baby bedding out there! I was almost tempted to take on the task to make my own....then I had to remind myself....I don't sew!! Minor detail! I am trying to find some sort of non-baby bedding that has some soft pinks and browns. I am also going for the kind of shabby chic look. We'll see what the heck I come up with! 

We have also been clothes shopping for her. That is a blast. I went to Carters in Carlsbad and got great deals and the cutest little jammie sets! Of course everything was pink! I am ready to go back out tomorrow....oh but crap I have a room full of laundry I have to fold first....darn it. 

We have been trying to name this little girl. The name I originally picked out is a no go! Darn! I really loved Addison, but Sans hates it and it was brought to my attention that it is a dogs disease (Addisons disease) I can't name her that!! So we are back to Ava Grace. Sans would like to just name her Grace...he loves that name. We'll see...maybe another name will pop up before she is born. 

The very cool thing about this week is that she is a mover and a shaker in there!!! She moves around constantly. It is a strange feeling. It started out so subtle last week and now it feels like she does flips and kicks! Sans said she'll probably be fiesty like her mama....sure hope not!! 

We do have a Dr.s appt this week and another ultrasound coming up the following week. 

That's it folks.....until next week! 

IT'S A GIRL!

Well, IT'S A GIRL! We are so excited and the 4D experience is an amazing one. I loved having the family there to share in this and see all of the excitement on their faces too! It was amazing to see her move around in there and she sure wasn't shy about letting us know she was a girl. At one point she had her but cheeks spread eagle right to the camera. It was like she was saying....Here ya go folks...you want to know what I am....here ya go!  She gave a great show and then towards the end it was nappy time. She fell asleep. 

 I am up at the crack of dawn because I am too excited to sleep. I can also feel her moving all around in there. She is quite active at 4:30AM! It is always when I am still that I can feel her moving around in there.  Sans can't wait until the day he can feel her kick. I always wonder what it must be like for the husbands to be experiencing this. You know people always say having a baby is a miracle and until it is your own is when you actually believe it! Sans will be a great dad and it is very special to be sharing this with someone you love so deeply. Well, I didn't just wake up at 4:30 am for nothing! Since the house is quiet and I got my credit card out I think it is time to start doing some online shopping now for this little one...gotta go! 

4D Ultrasound this week!

There is the belly! Well, I am so darn excited and nervous about this 4D Ultrasound. I sat on the computer looking at You Tube videos of 16 week 4D Ultrasounds.......SCARY! The baby looks like a alien! So, I have invited the whole family to go to this and our baby is going to look like an alien....GREAT!!! 

It will probably scare the 5 & 4 year old nephews half to death and they are so excited to see their cousin! Not one of my better ideas to do this! Oh well! I am too curious now and really need to know if this is a girl or the tech was wrong and it is really a boy! That would be a bit of a shock at this point because I have it set in my head that it is a girl. We'll find out on Friday! 

14 weeks!

This ultrasound picture was taken at 12 weeks. We got genetic testing to make sure so far everything is okay. Baby looks good and we did find out what the sex of the baby MIGHT be!!! A girl!!! The tech was pretty sure about it, but we will get it confirmed on our 4D ultrasound in 2 weeks. We can't wait for that! We have invited a lot of family to join in on the fun. 

I am dying to start shopping for baby things, but I will wait until we get the sex confirmed. 

We also met our Dr. for the first time this week, since we changed Dr.s  We LOVE him. He has a great sense of humor and great bedside manner. I am now officially in my 2nd trimester which is a huge relief! I feel like we made it, but I know I will have really made it when I deliver! I am already uncomfortable which is disappointing as I have a LONG way to go! I feel like there is lack of room in there and having trouble breathing regularly. I have bad side aches.  I think it has to do with my back and neck being out of whack and being in a lot of pain from that. So, tomorrow I go to the chiro and Sat. I go get a 1 1/2 hour massage. That should help! 

12 weeks!

Okay here is my 1st belly shot! I woke up this morning...stepped on my scale and said Holy Cow! I gained 2 lbs in 1 day....frightening! Hopefully, it is the baby growing and not just me!! 

On Wednesday we will have ultrasound pics. We are hoping to get a sneak peek at a guess of what the baby is. I won't get my hopes too high, but some women have been able to tell this early.  I guess if the donger is pointed up it is a boy and if the donger is pointed straight it is a girl. The donger on the girl is the clitoris taking shape. There is your anatomy lesson! I really can't stand surprises and technology needs to get better fast for us impatient women! 

Well we do have our 4D ultrasound scheduled for May 16th to find out the sex. I will be 16 weeks. Only 1 more month to go! 

11 Weeks 4 days!

Well, I have decided that I would post once a week, but have failed to do that for a couple of weeks! Oops! My mother brought it to my attention. Thanks Mom! Sometimes there are just not that exciting of things to report. 

I am in my 11th week and went to Texas to celebrate Easter with my sister and her family, my mom and brought my other niece Ashlynn with me. We had a great time being together. It was a bitter sweet time for me as I know I won't make it back here for quite some time. Next time I will have baby or toddler in tow and it will probably be quite a Hollywood production with all of the things you have to bring for one little human being! One of the best moments was sharing my sister's bed with her (yep she actually let me in her bed again!!) and having conversations before we hit the hay. I got all of the sisterly advise on "to breastfeed or to not breastfeed" and many other topics! It was great to have that time together. 

Now it is time to go back to my other family.....the wonderful husband and fur kids. Boy, did I miss them! Oh how the heart grows fonder while you are away. 

How am I feeling you ask? It was getting better, but it came back! I have to stop jinxing myself. Whenever I have 1 good day I say "Oh boy, I think it's over" Nope it all comes back with a vengeance the next day! I am almost through this 1st trimester. We go in soon to see the baby and get genetic testing. I can't wait to see how much bigger "it" has gotten.  What do you think you are having...you ask? Hummmm......I always have a strong feeling it is a girl, but I have dreams about that I am having a boy & a girl. So, I have no idea what it will be, but we are DYING to know!!  

9 weeks!

AHHHHH what a sweet sight! We had our first Dr.s appt yesterday.We heard the heartbeat and got this sweet picture. The heartbeat is great at a solid 175BPM. So far so good....keep it up Baby S!!! 

Oh how am I feeling...you ask? Like CRAP!  Luckily, I have an awesome husband who takes really good care of me during this yucky stage. He is really into this whole process and likes to research and read me things....thanks Sans...now let me go throw up! 

Well, we have names!!!! Drum roll.......wait one second. I don't really want to hear whether you don't like one of the names, though! Sans came home with the boy name tonight. He was so proud of himself. We thought of this name before and it popped back in his head. Good thing he won't be called Boy!  Sorry, mom I know you don't care for that boy name.....you will grow to like it! Okay here goes....

Girl: Ava Grace or Addison

Boy: Drew 

We don't really have middle names except for Ava. So, here is where we will take suggestions.....middle names please!! 

8 weeks 3 days!

Extreme anxiety has officially set in! I guess after one has a miscarriage at 10 weeks it is just normal to have all of these nervous feelings.  I ended up ordering a home doppler on Ebay today so I can hear the heartbeat at home whenever I have those waves of anxiety! We have our first OBGYN appt next Monday March 30th.  I called them to make sure I can get an ultrasound that day. They said "yes no problem." THANK GOD! I think I would have ripped their throat out if they told me no! 

Still feeling sick every single day, which is reassuring and trying to enjoy the time of rest and relaxation during these moments! The dogs think that I am glued to the couch and will never take them for a long walk again! Luckily they have their pops to handle that one! 

So, of course everyone always asks.....have you thought of any names? Well let's just say I have and Sans likes to say Yes or No! 

Girls name...Addison (not sure on the middle) maybe Grace. I am sure my mom will find some crazy twist to her name since she calls her Grandaughter Brooker when her name is Brooke! 

Boys Name.....God only knows! I think we'll just call him "BOY" If you have any suggestions on boys names we are taking requests! Sans thinks it's funny to joke around and call him Mehmet Ali or Muhammad! UHHHHH......not over my dead body will our child have those names! 

7 weeks 4 days!

WOW can  I just say nausea and morning sickness are in full force! It is reassuring to feel so sick, but looking forward for my 12 week milestone.  Well, for 2 reasons...1 the fear of miscarriage is over and in your 2nd trimester you start feeling better, or so these other women say!! Can I just say that whoever named it morning sickness was probably a man. It should have been named "all day sickness"! Hey I am not complaining! I couldn't be happier...really vomit and all!!! 

So, we have 1 Grandma (Sans's mom) who is REALLY hoping for a girl. It is quite hilarious how she finds any way to blurt out..."I hope it's a girl, or OH you are so sick...You are going to have a girl. The woman is going to be highly disappointed if she won't be able to buy pink!! Hey, I don't blame her...she has had 2 sons and 2 Grandsons. She needs a girl in her life. Unfortunately, it is really not up to me....it is a 50/50 chance! We'll find out in May. Can't wait!  

6 weeks 4 days

AHHHHH....A HEARTBEAT TODAY! Very exciting and reassuring to see that there is something actually alive in there! Something that is causing my tiredness and nausea! I wouldn't have it any other way! So, I graduated today from the fertility Dr. to the OBGYN. They sent me on my merry way! It was bitter sweet! We really liked our nurse practitioner at our fertility Dr's office. She had such joy on her face the last few weeks when we have gone in every week to get an ultrasound. Today was pure glee for all of us when we could see the heart beating! She said...you have officially graduated! I feel blessed that I did not have to go through such a lengthy process with fertility treatments. I purely empathize with women that go through it for months. All of the crazy hormones and disappointment when you get a BFN (Big Fat Negative) on a pregnancy test month after month.  So today I am feeling blessed....thank you for all who prayed for us and thank you body for wanting to cooperate! 

5 weeks 5 days

Baby S. at 5 weeks 5 days. It was amazing to see something actually in there! I still can't help being so anxious about another miscarriage.....I know I should not even be thinking about it and only have positive thoughts! That experience is something that I will carry with me always.  We just hope and pray that my body can do this! I am now 6 weeks and 3 days. We go for another ultrasound tomorrow to see the heartbeat (fingers crossed!) My belly is getting bigger, I am EXHAUSTED and feeling sick on and off. I seriously could sleep all day...YAWN!  

Well, here we are...excited, anxious and nervous! We found out on Saturday that we are indeed pregnant. The 2 lines popped up right away at 5:30 am. I came out of the bathroom and woke Sans and said....WE DID IT! He popped up out of bed and was so excited and told me....."I told you, you could get pregnant again! We laid there wide awake for the rest of the morning talking about how excited we are. 

We were only going to try for 3 more months and then head off to Chicago for a procedure that 1 Dr. in the US does called IVM. So I was feeling such intense pressure to succeed as this would have been a huge expense for us. Although, you get to a point when you have been trying for so long that you will do anything.

One thing about me is that I have PCOS (Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome). This has been the reason of  why we have been trying for 4 years. I also have a 50% miscarriage rate, so balancing my insulin and hormones is VERY important to have a successful pregnancy. Lots of women with PCOS have healthy happy pregnancies, but it is just something that  women with PCOS have to be aware of. Awareness about PCOS is huge because it affects a lot of women battling with infertility. The right medication (Metformin) and getting yourself at a healthy weight is huge in being successful at getting pregnant. If you know of anyone who is battling with infertility you may want to advise them to do some research on PCOS and see if they have the symptoms. If they do have the symptoms a blood test and ultrasound (of the ovaries)  is what is required for a diagnosis. I went to my Dr. and told her I wanted to be tested. She told me that she didn't think I had it, but will test me anyways. All of my results came back that YES you have PCOS. It was FINALLY an answer. So, women listen to yourselves and be proactive in your health. 

Now, of course I have peed on a stick a few more times to make sure that I am still pregnant....YEP, it is still real! This also could not have come at better timing because the loss I had in Aug was due next month. I have been getting all of these baby things mailed to me from various companies and it is a reminder that we would have had a baby very soon. So, I have been so sad and this is just what I needed! A new life to focus on. 

We will pray that this baby sticks and I know now what to do differently this time around. So, here's to 2 lines & prayers...stick  baby stick!!!